So my best friend from back home called me the other morning. She’s really good at helping me sort out my thoughts and feelings. She’s especially good at helping me acknowledge things that are holding me back spiritually. I’m usually aware of them but don’t want to admit them. She lovingly yet firmly prompts me to say them aloud.
Thanks for encouraging me to do the difficult and not so enjoyable things that help propel towards growth, towards being more Christ like.
I’ve honestly been stressed out with juggling everything and the internship coming to a close: random bills popping up, multiple papers to write, and working so much. I’ve been trying to manage while still attempting to get sleep and invest in my friendships with people. A lot of times, I try to do everything in my own, out of my own ability. Because I can, right? When I try that is when it falls apart or I break down. I don’t have the capacity to do all of those things on my own, but thankfully with the help of God and am amazing community, it’s doable.
Now the issue I’m about to address, I am guilty of myself.
So when you’re a young adult Christian single, it’s super exciting to meet other young adult Christian singles of the opposite gender. It always seems that they don’t exist. When one pops up on your radar, the initial desire is to instantly develop a crush on that person and think what if they could be my spouse. It’s as if there will never be another attractive man who loves Jesus with his whole heart like the guy in front of you. Why not pursue it? Even if there are no guarantees you will even mesh well together? Waiting, that’s a stupid word. These are the things that occur in some females minds…even my own.
This was prompted by such an instance in my life the other day. Pray for me. Lol
So I’m a 26 year old woman. I frequently get told I look several years younger than I am. It’s flattering to an extent…the flattery stops when you’re told you look like you should be in high school or when people treat you like a child. I would think that how I act indicates that I’m older than that, but nevertheless, it doesn’t.
In between my shifts, I went to a local coffee shop, got tea (because I think tea is superior and enjoy it more) and a muffin, and attempted to do homework (I at least read some scripture in the process).
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” -Philippians 4:8 ESV
This verse has been coming up more frequently in my life. What are my thoughts centered on? Are they on God? Are they on distractions? If the second, then I gotta check myself real quick and fix it. I try to catch myself. I desire to have God be at the forefront of my life, and I desire that my life is indicative of just that.
So this is the big new worship song. I was meditating on the meaning of the lyrics during worship this morning. I think our human concept of reckless isn’t a good description of God’s love. I don’t consider God as someone who is reckless. Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines it as: “marked by lack of proper caution, careless of consequences.” God isn’t careless. He’s very intentional. I think that with our limited view and understanding of God we can never fully grasp the depth and the expanse of His love. So in our attempts to describe God, we inaccurately characterize God.
I think that the bridge, however, articulates the sentiment better: “There’s no shadow You won’t light up, Mountain You won’t climb up, Coming after me, There’s no wall You won’t kick down, Lie You won’t tear down, Coming after me”
His pursuit of us, that paints a more accurate picture of what His love is like.
So with us discussing the good things we see and love in others, I noticed that I got super emotional sharing about the men in our group. I was wondering why that was. After some introspection, I realized that a lot of was stemming from the fact that I didn’t have positive male role models growing up. To see good men, men who are pursuing after God and are leading their families in that same pursuit, is amazing. It’s good to know that there are good men in the world. I get to work with a few of them everyday in the office. I am thankful for them.
Each morning at work, we corporately do devotions together. We have taken a break from reading scripture for the last few days and have focused on things we love and see in one another. We pick two people to focus on, talk about them, and pray a blessing over them.
Today I was one of the people whom they talked and prayed over. It was interesting to hear/see what they said. Some of the characteristics were things I was already aware and do naturally. Some, however, are things that I’ve asked for God to develop in me. They aren’t as natural for me, but in my pursuit of being more Christ like, God has grown those things in me. I pray that He continues to grow all of the ones listed below: